Stand Back Up

Sometimes life kicks your butt. Right? 

Aaah, yes! Everyone’s been there before. Laid out on the floor. Sometimes you’re afraid and you just don’t feel that tough.

But you stand back up, right??!!

Six months ago I decided to have hip replacement surgery because I was nearly laid out on the floor, for real. In the beginning, I was going to beat Mr. Arthritis. You can believe during the last four years, I gave him a good fight. But the Old Codger kept upping his game and I finally caved. Sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war.

Six months, the waiting time for surgery, became like six months in cat time…. a long time. So what does one do when the world stops, drops you off and then proceeds to pass you by?

 

I went crazy.

What? Six months? No drive thru window for hip replacements?  Am I supposed to live like a gimp, unable to do anything for what already has been forever? My blood pressure spiked. Surgery was pushed even further into the future –– my now depressing, lousy far-away future. I am not happy.

My only choice –– Acceptance.

 Until I get a handle on the patience, which acceptance requires, a crowd begins to form inside my head. Already used to sharing my bed with Arthritis Guy at night, I calm him down by overdosing him with Ibuprofen.

But now Downer Depression Guy has entered the scene and invited his dad, Father Time.  They both remind me that I am now, officially old.  Soon this will be my future for real, they say. I  saw them laughing. And then Intimidator Thug   shoves his way into my overcrowded brain, warning me to be careful or else things will get worse. My mind begins to feel like a jail cell on Saturday night.

Life’s solutions are rarely easy to acquire. There’s no app. No “Easy Lives -R-Us” stores. Sure, there are pills and pot, but they are not quite the fix I was looking for. So what can I do?

I  Stand back up, kick ass, and break out.

I packed up the motorhome. With no choice but to travel with my four uninvited occupants, I drive to Arizona making stops in Yuma, then   Quartzite and on to Phoenix. The vastness of the dessert, the blue-sky weather and the open roads are like happy pills and pot rolled into one big fat joint. I’m as gone as gone can be, feeling free and wild.

Downer Depression Guy, his dad and  Terminator Thug, abandon their cause somewhere on Interstate 10 between Quartzite and Phoenix. They had heard stories about the unwanted who mysteriously disappear in the desert.  Arthritis Guy was stoned on Ibuprofen. He was not going to bail so easily.

After spending a  soul –warming  month  in the Arizona sun  with good friends and family, my spirits rose to new heights and my blood pressure dropped to reasonable levels. I  traveled back  to California to finish out my time in Hemet at  the plush, Golden Palms Village RV Resort  with old and new RV friends before I  turn myself in into the  Saw-Bone Surgery Center in Redlands. 

All of this time I never stopped writing. Writing is my salvation. I wrote from dawn to dusk.  Now looking back it seemed those endless days of writing while I waited,  became like living in the Magic Kingdom. It was as if Tinkerbell’s sparkling wand swept through the air and  the time served and ....poof!  My two year project, The Grieving Gift,  emerged.

Do your work –– not just your work and no more ––

 But   a little more for lavishing sake ––

 That little more, which is worth all the rest.

And if you suffer –– as you must ––

And if you doubt –– as you must ––

Do your work –– Put your heart into it and the sky will clear.

Then out of your very doubt and suffering, will be found ––

The Supreme Joy of Life.

Author unknown.

Meet my crazy, but capable Rehab team!!!

By the time you are reading this, the war will be done, Mr. Arthritis will have succumbed to the saw blade,  and I will be taking my first painless steps to a new freedom and happiness. 

THE GRIEVING GIFT

On a death watch, you get to know things about a person you wish you didn’t. It is like a roller coaster ride. And like most rides, it brings us back to the place we began, reminding us of who we were and who we have become.

 Janice’s older sister, Margaret, wanted to believe the LA doctors at Cedars Sinai Medical Center held a magical deck of cards. After eight years they dealt their final card. The Hospice card. No miracles for Margaret. But Janice reassures her big sister she will be there holding her hand until the end.

 Unable to deal with the reality of their mother’s death, Margaret’s sons root themselves deep into denial and blame. Dealing with her nephews’ harsh criticism causes Janice to   doubt   who she is, forcing her to re-examine bittersweet events of her past.

 The twists and turns, ups and downs of this emotional ride transports Janice back through the repercussions of her teen pregnancy and into the present estrangement from her daughter whom she has not heard from for the last sixteen years.  Is her dear Charlotte dead or alive?

Coming to terms with the grief of losing her sweet Maggie and dealing with the fear of a future living alone is too much to imagine.

When Maggie’s soul goes to rest in LA heaven, how will Janice face the emptiness? Will there be such a thing as a Grieving Gift?

LET ‘ER RIP! GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT!

LET ‘ER RIP! GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT!

Everyone has moments they remember from childhood. Maybe it was lying in a pile of fresh fallen leaves, or a snow drift creating angels. Perhaps the memorable moment is a place in the safety of darkness, on a rainy day, crouched in a tent made of sheets. But it was a certain place and time in which the spirit soared  high, free to touch the sun, without being told you might get burned.

A LETTER TO MYSELF

Dear Turnip,

Do you remember falling into a pile of fresh fallen leaves?   You didn’t worry about the bugs or the musky dust. You raked the pile high.  

Did you notice the crisp fall air, or listen to the leaves showering from the trees like the rain?  Probably not. You were eight years old. You lay spread eagle on your back, swishing your arms and legs to the crackle of your leaf angel that would never be as distinct

as the snow angel you would make a few months later.

You gazed up into the thundering, billowing clouds, too young to wonder about boys ,or  who your friends would be. You imagined wild horses thundering across the endless storm filled heavens. Your world was small, just Mom, Dad and Punkin, who was the boss of you because she was a year older.  Oh yes, and Andy, Dad’s black lab, who went everywhere with you. No wonder Mom and Dad never worried.

They could have told you to cherish those days. Every moment. 

Today I strive to recreate that free style you enjoyed, running and falling, and crawling into the fragile crisp leaf caves. I remember the gift of freedom you thrived upon. The only rule, “Be home by dark.”

If Mom and Dad had warned, “Be careful,” you would have asked, “Of what?” I’m glad they didn’t instill that fear and you didn’t have to ask. Instead, you grabbed that   freedom and incorporated it into the confidence which I enjoy today. I am grateful fear never held you back.

When I am weary from my mind’s battle with doubts of who I am, and what I will become, I remember you, Turnip, and your eight year old undaunted spirit.  You are my hero.  Because of you I grew strong and confident with courage to face the future and its challenges.  So let ‘er rip. Give me all you got, world. And I will stand back up.

Love,

Me

Oh, and don’t forget!! Readers’ reviews  keep writers motivated.

USEFUL LINKS

JUDY’S AMAZON  AUTHOR  PAGE

JUDY'S  BLOG   

JUDY'S WEBSITE

SPORTSTER'S BLOG

Click on the link below to find out more about Judy's books.

Go to Judy Howard's Author Page on Amazon

Safe travels!

                   

Ellen Behr interviews Judy Howard

Your biographical note on your Amazon home page includes this quote from Henry David Thoreau: "How vain is it to sit down and write, when you have not stood up to live?"

At what point did you realize you needed to write about what you'd lived?

My husband passed away in August of 2004 and 3 months later I made my first solo trip in   my motorhome from California to Florida. People referred to me as an inspiration, that I gave them courage to tackle things they had been afraid to try.

Six years ago when I wrote my first book,   COAST TO COAST WITH A CAT AND A GHOST, I felt my story needed to be told. An author, Louis Urea said, “Sometimes, God tells you what to write.”  I believe it is the same for me. I intended the memoir to be somewhat of a travel log. Instead, it evolved into a story about  not just  dealing with the loss of a loved one, but also of  facing spousal abuse and  finding courage to stand up for myself  and  through the process, becoming  stronger  and greater than I ever dreamed of becoming.

Your books are listed as novels, but the main character shares your name. How much of the character's experiences in your books ("Coast to Coast with a Cat and a Ghost" and "Going Home with a Cat and a Ghost") mirrors your own life?

Coast To Coast With A Cat And A Ghost is definitely is the closest to a memoir. It was my first book and was well received, surprising me. So, as a new author, flying by the seat of her authorial sweat pants I wondered if I could make something up.

 And wa-la!  Going Home With A Cat And A Ghost was born. My sister called me egotistical because I didn’t want to lose the character, Judy Howard. If she worked in the first book, why not keep her?   I hadn’t planned a series but they say that’s how to sell book. Why not?  So how much is truth and how much is fiction?  I’ll leave that as part of the intrigue for the reader to ponder.

Why did you choose to write fiction rather than autobiography? Your life sounds bigger than fiction!

 I find writing fiction to be fun, filled with my dreams.  I can fly high on my fantasies, and unlike reality, I   control the ending.  The dark moments in a world of fiction may be difficult to write but never as painful as revealing   the reality of a personal truth, which didn’t turn out as I had hoped.

You are right, Ellen, Ellen, my life is as big as the Montana sky and thrilling as lightning in a thunderstorm. Compared to a time in my life when suicide became a tempting option, the life I live today is more fulfilling and magical than I ever imagined.  But the those deep potholes from which  I dragged myself out , and the long  detours I took wandered through are easier for this author to address  with distance , in a novel. Sometimes I do take the easy way but my usual mode of operation   is the hard way.

John F. Kennedy said, “We choose to go to the moon, not because it is easy, but because it is hard.”

When did you start RVing? Do you still travel by RV?  I began Rving solo in 2004. In January 2017, at the young age of 71, I rented my house out and now live full-time in my twenty-four foot   Winnebago which I have named, “The Big Story.”  I tow a Smart Car, appropriately named, “The Short Story.” 

Do you write in your RV?  

I had a custom desk built in my RV. It is my favorite place to write. There is nothing more inspirational than pounding the keyboard while the rain beats on the roof, or when the ocean washes incessantly onto the beach, or the wind whispers ideas to me through the trees. On beautiful days, my cat,  Sportster, will not stop howling until I move  out side  with my computer, It is there he can absorb the sights and smells of his surroundings and plot his next novel …or his  autobiography?  By the way, his nose is bent out of shape because no one yet has asked for an interview. I told him when he gets a couple more books out he will be taken more seriously as an author.  He just twitched his tail, spit and then took a nap.  

Do you write in your RV?  

I had a custom desk built in my RV. It is my favorite place to write. There is nothing more inspirational than pounding the keyboard while the rain beats on the roof, or when the ocean washes incessantly onto the beach, or the wind whispers ideas to me through the trees. On beautiful days, my cat,  Sportster, will not stop howling until I move  out side  with my computer, It is there he can absorb the sights and smells of his surroundings and plot his next novel …or his  autobiography?  By the way, his nose is bent out of shape because no one yet has asked for an interview. I told him when he gets a couple more books out he will be taken more seriously as an author.  He just twitched his tail, spit and then took a nap. 

Many of you have asked, "What's it like writing on the road?" This is my office, highlights from left to right. 

1. The muse. And famous author Sportster @Sportsterandme.com.
2. If you enlarge the photo you will see a timer. I'm trying out a new productivity strategy. 

3. Gifts from a couple of my favorite people who keep me charged up with believing in myself on a professional level. The painted rock. Thank you Deb Sanders. And my latest nonfiction book to insure that someday I will be climbing up on the stage to do my very own Ted Talk. Thank you Lynne MorganSpreen. 
4. Oh!! Don't overlook the most impressive feature, my picture window that changes scenes with the twist of the ignition and a step on the accelerator!!! Welcome to my office!

What inspires you most when you're traveling?  

Nature, nature and more nature! And always the people and their stories.

Every person should   be required to serve a two year tour, living with the locals of several of the small towns in every fly-over state.

  Using one of your books as an example, could you walk us through how you got the idea through the final version of the book? What was the toughest part of the process for you? Why?  

By the time I finished my first book, Coast To Coast With A Cat And A Ghost, I was hooked on writing. I figured anyone can write their own story, but I wondered, could I make something up? So I tackled the familiar Hallmark romance story, reuniting with the old high school boyfriend.  I mixed it up with some tragedy and intrigue and wrote, Going Home With A Cat And A Ghost.

Sportster the cat (featured in earlier books) has for some time narrated a blog. What inspired you to give him center stage as main character in "Activate Lion Mode"?

After writing MASADA'S MARINE, which was about a dog named Masada who becomes a service dog for an Iraq veteran with PTSD, I was emotionally exhausted. It took me two years to write and I considered laying down my pen and shutting off my computer. But writing is like a drug, and I couldn’t give it up. So I decide I would write something fun, ACTIVATE LION MODE.

"Activate Lion Mode" is the first in a new series. When can readers expect the second book? Does it have a title yet? Yes they certainly can. Sportster promises Activate Love Mode will be out mid 2018. I too will have an autobiographical novel out in 2018.

Will RVs continue to play a role in your books?

Until they pry my cold dead hands from the steering wheel.

What motivated you to write the Masada series, featuring a service dog for a PTSD-afflicted veteran?   

I discovered a nonprofit organization which raised puppies and then sent them to local prisons to be trained as service dogs for veterans.  The prisoners win, the dog wins and the veterans wins. What a great story!

Your experience as a pet groomer clearly has influenced your writing. Do you have any advice for others who are thinking of incorporating aspects of their professional life into their fiction?

Write about what you know even if your career seems ordinary to you. Your individual perspective   and passion will give inspiration and passion to a story that no one else can.

What have I not asked that you'd like to mention?

An issue which writers are rarely asked is, “Writing is hard, lonely and full of doubt. How do you keep going?” 

Perhaps the public believes we have a gift, a talent which drives us and that it is easy for us.   It is not. To be successful, we all have to do the work. Everyday.

Every day I study the craft, and its many divisions –– writing, character building, plot and structure and so on –– updating my knowledge of the constant changing world of marketing and social media and publishing –– and most of the time I do this alone.

So how do I keep going?  I give it away. Through my writing and inspirational seminars, I try to help writers on their journe,y and like magic, they help me. I keep going on, giving away the knowledge and support that others have lavished on me.

Oh, and don’t let me forget!! Readers’ reviews  keep us writers motivated.

USEFUL LINKS

JUDY’S AMAZON  AUTHOR  PAGE

JUDY'S  BLOG   

JUDY'S WEBSITE

SPORTSTER'S BLOG

Thanks,   And safe travels!

WHERE IS YOUR THERMOSTAT SET? TURN IT UP!

WHERE IS YOUR THERMOSTAT SET?
TURN IT UP!!

Gay Hendricks PhD, said in “The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level, “Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.”

My work goals.

          To become a Ted Talk speaker.

          To become a New York Times Best Selling author.

          To appear on the Steve Harvey Show.

Personal goals.

          To live out my life with the one I love.

          To see the Northern Lights.

          To be a keynote speaker at my high school.

All of these goals exceed my thermostat setting. Just writing them down causes discomfort, even reading them, and certainly making them public. Doubting, fearful voices drone like the disturbing hum from a bad speaker.

 I compare how I react to my desire to achieve these goals, to my

dream of driving a Mario Andretti race car on my 70th birthday. The feelings of inadequacy, of being undeserving and just plain terrified me and  almost froze me where I stood.
Regardless,  I went for the checkered flag. The thrill of surviving the risk was worth the price and became my trophy. I took it to the limit. I gave it my best shot.  I accomplished something I never believed I could do. And that made all the difference.

So, here is what to do.  

Break your project, idea, task, activity or goal into the largest possible number of sub-steps you can imagine. 

Let’s use the example,  becoming a Ted Talk speaker.

Write all the steps down.

 4. Join Toastmasters

1. Decide what you want to say

3. Decide on a title of your Toastmasters speech

2. Know why you want to say it.

5. Practice, practice, practice

6. Become active, volunteer in the venue you are passionate about

Prioritize the list.

1. Decide what you want to say

2. Know why you want to say it.

3. Decide on a title of your Toastmasters speech

4. Join Toastmasters

5. Practice, practice, practice

6. Become active, volunteer in the venue you are passionate about.

  Go back to the first item on your list. Fnd the smallest possible action you can take to advance it.

1. Decide what you want to say.

          a. Find your passion

          b. What would you like to change in the world?

          c.  Decide how bad do you want to say it?

          d. What are you willing to risk to reach your goal?

         

Aim for baby steps. Focus on small wins. 

The idea is to take even the smallest action towards the bigger goal.

Small baby steps are the key. The road to a worthy goal is long and daunting. No one whose name ranks in the top ten chart got there overnight.

Never mind the discomfort, it only proves you are exceeding your inner thermostat setting.   Keep our eye on those day-to-day baby steps.

You will be uncomfortable. Don’t let it sabotage you.

 Don’t give up.

Keep your heart on the prize.

Oh, and don’t let me forget!! Readers’ reviews  keep us writers motivated.

USEFUL LINKS

JUDY’S AMAZON  AUTHOR  PAGE

JUDY'S  BLOG   

JUDY'S WEBSITE

SPORTSTER'S BLOG

Click on the link below to find out more about Judy's books.

Go to Judy Howard's Author Page on Amazon

Safe travels!

                   

Focus on Goodness and Good Times

Do you want goodness and good times? Do you want to make the world a better place, to make a difference?  

What can one person do, you ask? 

There is so much to do.

I came across a quote the other day that made me smile. “A raindrop never admits its responsibility for the flood.”

Traveling this country I have discovered the world is not as bad as it is painted to be. 

Everyone ….yes, EVERYONE!  …wants  goodness  and good times. 

Everyone is beating down the paths to their  places of worship because we long for peace and good will.

“What the mind perceives, it will achieve.”

I believe this to be true. We are all proclaiming our good intentions and desires for a better world. So, what are we doing wrong?

I am offering  you my simple theory.

A simple idea yet so difficult to achieve.   Because the very concept and lifestyle in which we profess that we long for … that  utopia of peace and good will  which we are frightened will not come about … can not  manifest,  because we don’t have our eyes on the prize, which is goodness and love. We do not have faith. We do not believe. Which is it? Do we believe in evil or goodness? I believe we can’t have it both ways.

Choose one. 

That is my challenge.

 Believe  there is only good.

 For one week, only see the good. Erase all  “Yeah buts … from your thoughts.  If you do this, not only will your life change, but also so will your world. GUARANTEED!

Decide. 

Good or evil? 

Which will you choose to believe?

If the marathon runner sees the race as too long, too steep, or too many obstacles he will not finish he has lost the faith that he can finish let alone win.

You marry someone not to make your life better, but because you want to make your partner’s  life better.  If you marry for the former reason, your marriage will fail.

Focus on those  relationships  with  what the Dali Lama calls, Sacred Friends

“In life we have friends and then we have sacred friends. Friends are easy to love and easy to forgive. Sacred friends are very hard to love.”

Tell me what you think. If you meet my challenge I want to  hear from you!

Click on the link below to find out more about Judy Howard's books.

Go to Judy Howard's Author Page on Amazon

Unforgettable. Unstoppable. Astronomical.

Unforgettable. Unstoppable. Astronomical.

By

Judy Howard

How do you want to be remembered when you’re gone?

I know. Morbid, huh?  And I want to be a motivational speaker, you ask? My goal is to do a Ted talk. I want to be unforgettable, unstoppable and astronomical.

I know what you’re thinking. If she’s going to talk about dying, she’s not going to make it in the motivational business. Fat chance, huh? 

A few years ago I attended a friend’s funeral.  Like me, after her husband died, she packed up her motor home and began traveling alone, across this great country of ours.  I admired her because after her loss, she picked up the pieces and pursued a wonderful life of freedom and happiness.

At her memorial, each family member trod up the stage stairs and approached the podium. Each one recalled similar, personal experiences about Donna.  “I worried about her.  She was so daring, traveling alone across the country.  I never rested until she made it back home in that huge rig, as Grandma called it. My goodness you’d think she was a trucker! None of us could talk her out of her carefree lifestyle. She was unstoppable. Yet, I admired Grandma’s astronomical spirit.  She was my inspiration.  She gave me the courage to quit my job and start my own business. I love you, Grandma. I will never forget you.”

That’s the way I wanted to be remembered.   I want my friends and family to say, “She set a fiery inspiration under my feet. Her words sent me dancing into my future.  And, because of Judy Howard, my dreams flared into a reality."

I want them to say, " She was an unstoppable kind of person.  She lived an astronomical life.”

According to a recent Harris Poll, 70% of us are unhappy and don’t know what to do about it. I am not talking about being so miserable you want to blow your brains out. I’m referring to that "unhappy but hopeful attitude." You know?  That restless feeling?

The #1 reason we are restless is   because we don’t know what we want.

The #2 reason is because we DO know what we want, but fear is stopping us.

Are you part of the 70 %? Or maybe you already know what you want. Or, maybe you don’t. I want to offer you a simple, five minute exercise which will kick start your journey to becoming that unforgettable, unstoppable, and astronomical person you want to become.

1.     Imagine your memorial service and ask yourself these questions.

·       What would your family and friends remember about you?

·       What would you regret NOT having done?

·       What do you dream about doing?

·       What could you do to make the world a better place?

2.     Study these simple, but complex questions for the next week.

·       Write down you answers.

·       Take your time.

·       Study your answers.

·       Examine the feelings they evoke.

 Steve Harvey, who talks a lot about finding your life purpose, wrote a book titled, “Jump.”  He points out that every successful person you know, in order to get where they are now, had to take a risk. They figured out what they wanted and committed to their goal or passion. They jumped.

To be successful at some point you have to “Jump.”

 Six months ago, I jumped.  Except for the stuff I  could cram into  every nook and cranny  of my 24 foot Winnebago, I  sold an accumulation of  fifty years of  belongings, rented my house, and began an entirely new lifestyle, living full-time in my motor home. I wanted to simplify my life in order to feed my two passions, traveling and writing.  As I left everything familiar and headed down the road, I felt homeless, friendless and alone.

But……

I was   on my way. I had the bug.

You know the one.

To find my slice of heaven,

My place in the sun.

Now, let’s look back at this simple exercise.  You have been examining and feeling your reactions for a week. You have gotten a pretty good idea of, not only what you want, but also what you DON'T want, and what you’re afraid of. Your next step?

3.     Plan and take Action!

I don’t mean walk off you job or, like me, sell everything you own. Just take one small action toward your goal. Get up one hour earlier to write before you go to the job you hate. Or give up something in order to begin saving toward your goal. Or volunteer at a venue of your interest.

You will have to sacrifice something. You will have to get off the couch, to step outside your comfort zone.  But any small step you take will build your confidence and give you encouragement. A plan and taking action will boost you up and send you on your way to becoming that unforgettable, unstoppable, and astronomical person  who is living with his passion and making a difference.

It’s time to JUMP!

Let me know how you are doing. I would like to hear from you!

Believe and Become!

Unstoppable! Unforgettable!  And Astronomical!

Click on the link below to find out more about Judy's books.

Go to Judy Howard's Author Page on Amazon