BEST OPENING LINE CONTEST

 I need help!! 

 The Santa Barbara Writers' Conference. www.santabarbarawritersconference.com is offering  free tuition for the  BEST OPENING LINE.

Please help me choose which excerpt from my new book, INVISIBLE HEROES, would be the best entry. 

If one of these were the first lines of the first chapter, which one of these options would most entice you to continue reading?

What is your first choice?

Your second choice?

#1:  He had to call Joanie, had to talk to her, plead his case, suck it up, step off, keep his head down, all the fucking acronyms.  He punched in the number. Going up for report before his bad-ass lieutenant would be easier than what he was about to do.

# 2.    Williams was gone. All that was left was the pinging pieces of metal bulleting against the hummer behind him …and the pink mist.

#3.  “Well it’s not that I have PTSD, but they say the dogs wake you before you even have a nightmare.” Joanie was listening. He pushed on… “We’re a team. Semper Fi! Right? We’ll work it out.” He stopped, took a deep breath. There it was. The pitch for his life.

#4.  Sensing another wave of panic, Masada jumped down from the bed and sat at attention facing the Marine. With hands that hummed with nervous energy, the soldier cupped her head. The canine’s deep brown eyes locked, unblinking onto the vetreran’s moist blue eyes.

#5.  The boy just exploded. Eddie went down. I was thrown back from the blast and staggered. Do you smell that, Masada? I still smell the burning flesh and see the pink mist.”

#6.  Her name was Masada. She was an American Service Dog. She was a professional. She stood ready and would never quit. She would never leave her comrade’s side. Chin to her paws, she lay on the hardwood floor by PFC Bud March, USMC, as he slept in the dark.

#7.  He rolled back onto the mattress and stared at the knots in the log ceiling. The long night passed like all the others – bloodied bodies, heart wrenching memories of comrades dying in his arms, children who didn’t play and, when sleep came, nightmares that woke him and reminded him to stay alert.

#8.  He turned around and looked into his inmate’s eyes. “They should have been waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs when your feet hit the tarmac. They should have helped you come home. I’m sorry.” They turned and focused on Masada lapping up the fresh water.

#9.  Protect my family. He opened his eyes that had only seen the past.  He saw an image in the dresser mirror, a jar head with a gun to his head. It wasn’t a hajji, it wasn’t a stranger. It was PFC Bud March, USMC.

#10.  Like the rockets he fired in Iraq, they hit their mark and extinguished, not someone’s life this time, but a piece of his instead. He was destroying the relationship with Joanie yet couldn’t stop. Everything she did, everything anybody did, pissed him off. They didn’t understand. He didn’t understand.


Don't forget to check out Sportster's blog. http://judyhowardandsportster.blogspot.com/

He is heading up a committee to choose a design for the cover of INVISIBLE HEROES.  He also needs your help . Pass this on to all your veteran  friends and families. Sportster is offering a unique opportunity to be a part of INVISIBLE HEROES.
Go to:http://judyhowardandsportster.blogspot.com/ 

SANTA BARBARA MUSINGS

Sportster and I have spent the last two weeks in beautiful Santa Barbara area. We rested our wheels at the Elks Lodge in Goleta, California. The first half of our visit included enjoying the amenities here – the exercise room and, after working up a good sweat, the sauna and hot tub. We also strolled in the serene, forested picnic area.

We were here to attend the Santa Barbara Writers Conference at the Hyatt. The facilities Winnebago offered may not have been superb to the Hyatt, but they offered my own pillow, coffee served while I lounged in my pj’s at no extra cost, and an outdoor patio to soak up the sunshine after the marine layer dissipated. Let’s see, $199.00 a night or $25.00 a night?  Oh, and did I forget to mention? Winnebago allows pets.  So there you have it. 

 Of course the second week was not leisurely. It was jam packed with education, inspiration, new friends and did I mention?  Education!  Authors, Editors, Workshop leaders, top notch speakers offered up with great service from the hotel staff and the conference volunteers. I met Fannie Flagg the author of FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, Catherine Ann Jones who wrote for TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL   and THE CHRISTMAS WIFE and Monte Schultz, the son of Charles Schultz, the creator of PEANUTS.

I met with agents as well in which four of the six wanted to see more of my work. Their publishing houses included Bantam Doubleday Dell, Simon and Schuster, St. Martin’s Press, and McMacmillan. These agents have represented John Updike, Louis L’Amour, and Tani O’Dell.

I had my picture taken with Gk Parish-Philp whose ten years of experience in online digital media products and brands led him to create Mp3.com and Stage6.com and participated on a panel moderated by Marla Miller with www.marketingthemuse.com. What a fantasic woman full of energy and information on marketing.

With the overwhelming wealth of knowledge I absorbed I hope to pass it along in some new workshops that will feature the bones of the story, character development, dialogue, and plot.

But now I am unwinding and soaking up the last of the salty air and the moist filled mornings before I head back to the real world from which I acquire the grist for my writing mill.
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT SPORTSTER'S BLOG  - HIS TAKE ON THE SANTA BARBARA EXPERIENCE.

THE GOLETA PIER